for now

I haven't felt this feeling in so long. I don't even know what this is exactly. Maybe I just feel alone. Since I broke up with emma everything is been hurting me, but then again I was alone with or without him. I know that this will eventually go away, but for now is just the sudden feeling of freedom that I have, and I sort of don't need. I can't deny that I miss him, I miss everything, even our fights. I still have some of his stuff that I wish I could give him back, but seeing him or even talk to him won't do me good. I am taking this the best way I can take things. I've grown in the relationship this past couple of years, and all I have to say is that I know what a relationship really is, and that if you are not commited to the person then you are absolutely not ready for a relationship. its very simple, either you are or you are not. and maybe I wasn't ready for commitment, not this kind. I just started to discover myself, I feel like a child at times. I try not to feel alone by the company of others but in real life I am just using people that I absolutely don't care about, if I ever loved one it was emma, if I ever hurt it was emma, if I was ever happy and unhappy was with him. its beautiful to think that I had every type of emotion that u can ever think of with him, that is why I respect this and what we had. I haven't cry, not even teared. but I still feel empty. I am broken. I don't regret anything that I've done because sometime very soon I will find my happyness again. I am jaded at times, but it will be ok.

El Carajo

http://section802.net/lyrics_music.htm

I guess I don’t believe in what you could call karma, but I can’t rule out the possibility. They say what goes around, comes around, but that’s not what this world has made so evident to me. Observe and see there’s no strict philosophy and who can say they got what they deserved? Fair is just a playground full of carnies and rides. It’s not a tangible idea, it’s just a pocket draining prize and you can hope for justice, you can pray for piece, but I’ll bank on disappointment and wait for disability. I’ve got a choice not a destiny and that sounds just about right to me. Are we just leaky boats out on the sea, doomed to seek tranquility. I don’t want it. You can’t have it. I don’t love you cuz I don’t know you, but I’ll respect you while you neglect me. You can kill me, but you can’t resurrect me. Now the last I checked, it was mutual respect that kept the handshakes high and the expectations low. And that’s the preference to me, a form of solidarity. That’ll keep our heads and feet on solid ground.

Thank you Section 802

wrong. no, right.

I dont know if its the day, or what I drank yesterday. maybe is just the way I think of you often, or maybe is just the often emptiness of my stomach specially when I don't see you. I got myself confused, confused in many ways with life. I feel empty; and I wish I knew the reason. I wish I knew how to understand life. I wish I understand everything around me and how things work. emotions. because I don't see it.  why do I question my feelings so much. and what's the point of liking somebody. I wish I didn't change my mind often. I wish I didn't have to think whats wrong or right, because certainly really, whats wrong? whats right?

not the best idea....

I THINK I WILL REGRET THIS FOREVER


KARMA YOU ARE WELCOME TO COME FOR ME NOW, I AM READY.

AHHH!

FUCKKK YOU PANDORA!!!

YOU LEFT ME AND NOW I AM ALONE! WHY DID U END?! WHYY?!


:((((((((((((((((((((((

crying

There is nothing more annoying and frustrating that seen my little sister cry. It really breaks my heart and bothers me the most.

columbus day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mku7DeYG5sY&feature=related